It's about Max...

Look at this poor baby. No doubt he has spent the majority of his life in this "cage" and has run his heart out for his owner. Look at those eyes!

This is Max and yes, he is smiling!

I want to tell you about my dog brother, Max, or as his racing name proclaims: UCME Maxwell. However, I think they probably called him “Hey you!” because they don’t honor Greyhounds by using their names since they didn’t want some gambling, betting idiot to call their names from the grandstands and distract them.

Humans discover certain animals have a talent and they find a way to exploit and use them for personal gain. They use the word “broke” when it comes to training and in the process, the animal’s spirit is also broken because irresponsible people become abusive and only think of the money some poor creature can bring their way.

When my family adopted Max he was confused from being passed around as he was termed a “problem” dog given the fact he didn’t like other animals. His back legs were bald from being kenneled and his eyes showed the need for a loving forever home. For the first few weeks he would only sleep in a small corner of the bedroom like he was still in a kennel.

Today, Max sleeps on designer pillows and even has his own water bed. He gets a daily brushing and loves his trips to the dog park for a short burst of running (they aren’t built for endurance) and he is deeply loved.

I want to encourage all of you to consider adopting a retired Greyhound. They are so loyal and loving and gave so much for the unethical trainers who easily disposed of them when they didn’t win. They deserve better. They deserve a loving home that only you can offer. Please, for me, consider this.

Merry Christmas!

I can't wait to hear what all of you received for Christmas! I'll get my usual ping pong balls (don't knock it until you've tried it!) and thanks to Pickles the Parrot, I will also receive a few balls stuffed full of wooden beads!

Of course, there is always that one present we could do without or don't like and this is mine for this year:

A flippin' stroller/backpack! This means I'll be required to be a part of the Family Walks/strolls/whatever!

I don't like this thing! I've gone on one walk and have been biting mom everytime she attempts to shove me back into this bird prison on wheels! She doesn't seem to care one bit either because she forces me inside saying that this foolishness has gone on too long and she's sick and tired of me being a baby!

So that said, Merry Freaking Christmas!

Cougars?

I receive strange emails and especially interesting since I'm a bird. How do these humans find me?

Jews for Jesus, Single Christian Dating sites, coupons for shopping or eating at certain restaurants. But, the email that claimed there were Cougars waiting to meet me was frightening! At first I thought maybe there were real Cougars that wanted to meet me for lunch or dinner meaning I would be the entree and they would be belching feathers afterward.

Why do humans have tags for certain personalities? A Cougar is an older, slightly wealthy woman who likes younger men. They must want and need to raise and operate a man.

What about older men who only date younger women? Why isn't there an animal name for them? Or...maybe there is...foolish old goat.

Not Your Ordinary Bath

I don't like my bath time. I don't like water. I don't like spraying water. I don't like getting wet. I don't like the kitchen sink.

I especially don't like having a kitchen towel wrapped around me. But, mom says I start smelling like a dirty horse blanket so that is when I'm put through the torture of a shower.

And then...there is my Facebook friend, Birdie Alice, who seems to be happy as a pig in mud when it comes to bath time.

Look at her! Soaking in a casserole dish without a care in the world. Here is my problem with this picture of her: What if it isn't water she's marinating in but...brine?

Rocking My World

When mom uncovers my cage every morning, I'm always hanging upside down. I also hang upside down when she covers my condo at night. She is beginning to think that I sleep upside down all night.

I think she sleeps with her head up her butt because her hair always looks like a wedgie every morning.

Teching Fingers

   

       Between the Internet and cell phones, humans are never completely isolated. It’s no wonder you are on overload and argue over silly things and run each other off the road while screaming obscenities! This is why you see houses in the middle of Nowhere, Arizona. Some folks just couldn’t take it anymore and had to get away from their own species. There’s a reason some people prefer living in the desert with rattlesnakes and scorpions! Keep in mind—there is no sky rage  (the avian version of road rage) in the forest.

I’m a practical girl so I’m able to recognize the benefits of technology too. You’re able to go online and research my wonderfulness—my greatness, while admiring pictures of me. What?

Just don't text me because when I try to reply, I leave beak marks on the cell phone and mom gets upset and it just isn't worth the grief!

Too Much Tech?

Does this mean that you think technology is bad?

If overuse is an issue—yes. Humans seem to be stressing themselves (along with irritating each other) more than ever, but I’m sure texting is an effective tool for people who don’t know the difference between dating and taking hostages and feel compelled to stay in touch with their significant other 24/7. Your anxiety levels are higher than your cell phone bills! Even when you aren’t physically together, you still are connected because you’re joined at the hip via technology! And kids don’t even know how to spell anymore because it’s become an abbreviated society, with dialogue consisting of expressions like, LOL, BRB and WTH! All of your contacts follow you around, always able to stay connected. It’s almost like being stalked. And you think the jungle is creepy…